like a water rat or jungle melon

new jersey i whatever you and you're bringing me down.

HEY WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF THERE WAS LIKE A WAY TO TAKE NORMAL PICTURES AND MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE POLAROIDS?

YEAH THAT WOULD BE REALLY COOL IF THERE WAS A WAY TO DO THAT

do you know why i know you have a bluetooth headset?

because i can hear you doing other things with your hands while you pace around in your boxer-briefs and business socks, and it makes me want to die.

i can hear everything through the walls

do you not have a computer, or stamps, or carrier pigeons because i am very tired of waking up to your various business calls every morning. do you have a bluetooth headset? i bet you do. i bet it has stickers on it.

it is ideal

and it is still real.

i don't remember any of it.

what your facebook advertisements say about "who you are"

"hamburgers for everyone forever!!"
"are you hot at 18?"