hibear nation

the hotel chelsea has a balcony with a view of both rivers
the hotel chelsea has enough room to fit your oberlin bitties
the hotel chelsea has a mini fridge stocked with babybelles and natty light
the hotel chelsea does not have wireless internet access.

things i learned in the berkshires

i actually have the exact maturity level, attention span, and interests of a ten year old child.

for best results, scream this

NOW IT'S DONE, WATCH IT GO
AND YOU'VE CHANGED SO
PEACH, PLUM, PEAR
PEACH, PLUM

things i have been told to do by diner employees

"go to his room and wake him."
"as in, sexually awaken him?"
"wake him up with sex, yes."

taro taro tea thyme time

my pikachu watch still does not glow in the dark, causing time to become both irrelevant and intangible past ten pm.

portoroids

it's gonna take forever to grow a woman from the ground.

au revoir, a reverie

i hate this fucking recession.